First of all, Happy Birthday America! This holiday is my favorite, next to Christmas and being basically homebound, I was sad to miss all the fun this year. My day didn't consist of a whole lot. I woke up not feeling so great ( I blame the meds) Hubby had to work, so I tried to clean the kitchen a bit and just hung out most of the day. When he did get home, I needed to get out of the house and my steriods (working overtime) insisted I have a seafood sub from Subway. I'll admit, I'm addicted. I've always loved them, since one of my best friends worked at Subway in high school. Seafood subs & Baked Lays. Seriously, if it wasn't 4am I'd be running there now to get one, just thinking about it. Anyhow, it wasn't a glamorous trip out, but it got me out for a few minutes. Seeing everyone walking around from all of the festivities and seeing the firework stands packed, made me a little sad. My mother in law was nice enough to send me pictures of the littles at the parade enjoying themselves, so that was nice. The rest of my day consisted of hanging out with hubby, watching House and eventually watching the firework show from my livingroom window. Even though I couldn't be out enjoying it all, I still felt the spirit :)
Going back to how I felt this morning- Seriously. If you've ever taken Prednisone, you feel my pain. It is the devil. I've taken it before when I had pneumonia (or so they said, but my pulm dr said it could have very well been the sarcoid back then) and it kicked my ass then, too. Besides making me feel like I need to eat the whole united world, it makes my muscles & skin feel like they're on fire and sore. It also makes me swell and feel like parts of my body are going to pop at any given moment. Hormonally, I am a mess. One minute I am happy and fine, the next I'm pissed off at the dumbest thing, then want to cry because I know its not rational. Then I laugh because, well.. I feel like a psycho mess. I am pretty thankful hubby hasn't been around most of the last few days to witness. He may or may not be rethinking this whole marriage thing if he was. Lord help me if I have to be on these meds for 6mos or longer. Actually, lord help whoever has to be around me.. I'll be fine every 10min or so :) At this point the only thing I am noticing that is an improvement is my leg pain, since being on it. I had a day where my pain wasn't so bad, so I didnt take my pain meds for a full day and night.. which was last night. Pretty sure that is why I felt so awful waking up. I finally gave in and took one today. I know its a long process, but I am ready to be back to myself, back to work and back to doing whatever it is I want to. Tomorrow my momma is coming over to take me grocery shopping (yes I'll bring sanitizer and a mask) and to clean. (I will be helping even though shes threatened to smack me if I leave the couch..she's such a mom!) I am pretty excited to get out, spend time with her and to grocery shop (yes, im one of the weird ones that enjoys it) Hubby is going fishing with a friend for the afternoon/evening so it'll just be Chico & I after that. I hope he has fun with his friend and just can take some time away from worrying about me. He hasnt left my side, literally, unless its to work. Hes been putting in a lot of hours since going back & he deserves to go and relax and have fun.
I am so thankful for such amazing people in my life and I know how lucky I am. My family has been so amazing, even just in the little things they do. It hurts my heart to know that because of me and my situation, my mom, my sister, my husband and others have lost sleep, worried themselves sick & have taken on doing more, just to make my life easier right now. Thank you just doesn't seem enough. I will have lots of time on my hands so I will have to think of ways to repay them someday.
I guess its time I tried to get some sleep, since my mom will be here in 5hrs. (Thank you Prednisone, for another lovely side effect called insomnia :)
Going back to how I felt this morning- Seriously. If you've ever taken Prednisone, you feel my pain. It is the devil. I've taken it before when I had pneumonia (or so they said, but my pulm dr said it could have very well been the sarcoid back then) and it kicked my ass then, too. Besides making me feel like I need to eat the whole united world, it makes my muscles & skin feel like they're on fire and sore. It also makes me swell and feel like parts of my body are going to pop at any given moment. Hormonally, I am a mess. One minute I am happy and fine, the next I'm pissed off at the dumbest thing, then want to cry because I know its not rational. Then I laugh because, well.. I feel like a psycho mess. I am pretty thankful hubby hasn't been around most of the last few days to witness. He may or may not be rethinking this whole marriage thing if he was. Lord help me if I have to be on these meds for 6mos or longer. Actually, lord help whoever has to be around me.. I'll be fine every 10min or so :) At this point the only thing I am noticing that is an improvement is my leg pain, since being on it. I had a day where my pain wasn't so bad, so I didnt take my pain meds for a full day and night.. which was last night. Pretty sure that is why I felt so awful waking up. I finally gave in and took one today. I know its a long process, but I am ready to be back to myself, back to work and back to doing whatever it is I want to. Tomorrow my momma is coming over to take me grocery shopping (yes I'll bring sanitizer and a mask) and to clean. (I will be helping even though shes threatened to smack me if I leave the couch..she's such a mom!) I am pretty excited to get out, spend time with her and to grocery shop (yes, im one of the weird ones that enjoys it) Hubby is going fishing with a friend for the afternoon/evening so it'll just be Chico & I after that. I hope he has fun with his friend and just can take some time away from worrying about me. He hasnt left my side, literally, unless its to work. Hes been putting in a lot of hours since going back & he deserves to go and relax and have fun.
I am so thankful for such amazing people in my life and I know how lucky I am. My family has been so amazing, even just in the little things they do. It hurts my heart to know that because of me and my situation, my mom, my sister, my husband and others have lost sleep, worried themselves sick & have taken on doing more, just to make my life easier right now. Thank you just doesn't seem enough. I will have lots of time on my hands so I will have to think of ways to repay them someday.
I guess its time I tried to get some sleep, since my mom will be here in 5hrs. (Thank you Prednisone, for another lovely side effect called insomnia :)
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